glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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