I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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