never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
