So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
