just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
