Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
