it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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