I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
