it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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