You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
