he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I need to align my fucking chakras
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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