Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
