Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
