I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
