You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
