Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Little spoons don't ask big questions
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
