just come out here and I will go home with you...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
