I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
