My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
