the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
