dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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