i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
