i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
