My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
