careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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