and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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