Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
