Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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