I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
