My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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