google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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