You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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