put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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