"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
