I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
A+ Viking dick
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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