do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
