I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
