i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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