We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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