Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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