once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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