Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
