Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
