Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
