Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
