You smell like stripper and shame
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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