at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
