You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
