What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
