# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
