i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
