Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
