he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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